You have seen me…

You have seen me,
The way that I am.
The way that I shouldn’t be.
The way that I am lost.

And in seeing me,
I know you have found me,
I know that you have claimed me,
I know that you have reclaimed me.

I did not show you,
I did not know you,
I did not know that you knew.

But you know,
And now that you know,
It is for me to show,
That I know you
And I see you,
So that you are found.

I have started writing, nonetheless!!

'Nonetheless'!
An amazing word. A current favourite with me.
It means hope. It means courage. It means going against odds.
I believe in ‘nonetheless’. It’s not the same as ‘anyway’… that casual way of switching the subject or ending a conversation. It’s different from ‘however’, which is used so often to prove an opposing point of view. ‘Nonetheless’ is objective. It’s strong and firm. I like it - nonetheless.

My Affliction.

I have a problem. I am lazy. No, these are not words to be taken lightly! This is a serious disorder! I can actually lie-in all day long and do nothing. And I know, to anyone who reads it, it would seem but obvious, that it’s not healthy. How, pray do I impress upon anyone (most importantly myself) how grave the situation is?!
I feel myself falling; much like Alice, through the rabbit-hole. The crucial difference being that there is no Wonderland awaiting me on the other end. In fact there is no land…there is nothing!! As I sit in the confines of my room, the walls seem to draw closer. I am at a stage of life where perhaps many people find themselves… it’s a winding road and I am at the point where I can look no further. I can see no land-scape, no sea-scape no man-scape and no es-cape. So I sink in deeper…deeper into the soft recesses of my pillow, into a dreamless sleep. I am lazy. I do not dream!

Not Clichés…

You are my muse,
Although I am no artist.

You are my hope,
Although I am not despair.

You are my all,
Although I am not nothing.

This you need to know
My love…

For this is what you are,
‘My love’ – although not a cliché.

My world...

A cuppa, my notes, a pen, a fag and my work file... my quintessence! Life seems complete. My world captured on film...

Love Sick...(puke!!)

It’s not the end of the world,
Nothing is-
Till it’s the end of the world.

I chose to make you my world,
What a twirl…
But I can’t twirl anymore.
You were standing still,
I was the one
Going round on my toes.

My head is all in a spin,
I don’t know how
Now to begin?
‘Cause, it’s still not the end of the world,
So nothing new.
So I still love you??
It’s not yet the end of the world,
Nothing is –
Till it ends.

Apple cake...

My head is aching. have had to much of this apple cake; my mouth is too sweet. But memories of the morning make me smile - making my jaw ache even more. But that's alright. Or maybe not. Am sitting in a cafe with a group of people sitting close to me, discussing business plans for a fashion house. In each group around in the cafe I see, it is the woman who stands out.

'Women' - so much harder they have o try to appeal. What works with men..? Is it simplicity, is it make-up? Is it innocence - is it wantonness? Is it a mixture? It it alright being yourself? And funnily, in this whole stressful, bizarre attempt of trying to answer these questions, you momentarily lose yourself...only to find yourself again and ask: "Do I enjoy dressing up, or do I do it for others?" Am I a consumer of the product that is me? I first sell myself to me. I have to like me. I have to like that face in the mirror. Argh! At tmes it makes me wanna puke, like right now. Or is it the effect of the caffeine? Or the sweet, sweet apple cake.